Before I entered the world of ‘UNI’ I heard so many stories that rather resembled those early episodes of skins, anyone else remember them?
‘I pinned my hopes on it being like that and that was wrong of me, I should have been completely open to whatever it was going to be.’
It sounded wild, crazy & like it’d be the time of my life. Don’t get me wrong, over the past year and a half I have done way too much drinking, way too much going out and probably nowhere near enough attending lectures but I have never felt like I’ve had the experience I envisaged. People tell you so many stories of their wild adventures and I pinned my hopes on it being like that and that was wrong of me, I should have been completely open to whatever it was going to be.
My halls weren’t crazy parties all the time with huge groups of people getting along. My second year hasn’t been a house of 8 people all mixed gender, running about each others’ rooms and never knowing exactly who’s in your house. This has always been my expectation and now makes me wonder ‘University? Am I doing it right?’
I guess my answer now has to be, Yes! it’s right for me. I believe this experience has happened the way it was always meant to for me. I had my VERY wild years when I first turned 18 and although Uni has been a lot of the ‘nighttime scene’ for me, the rest hasn’t really gone to plan at all and maybe that is a good thing.
Last year, which I talk about in depth here, was a fairly miserable time for the most part, and even though this year has been such a vast improvement, it has had its moments too; moments of imperfection if you will.
‘up until this realisation, I’ve really just wanted to doss around not doing much.’
I just think I had this idealistic view that Uni is the same for everyone and everyone has that wild time, messes up a lot and generally lives quite badly. However, sat here, a few weeks into my second semester, I have never wanted a ‘real life’ *whatever that is I don’t know, but it isn’t this* more. I want somewhere to call my own, I want to get my head down and work, I want to excel into some form of career and That is how I know the I had for what Uni would be like has passed me by, I’m not going to get that now, I’m too far in and perhaps it just wasn’t for me.
I know a few people who feel like me too, I also have a friend who had a similar first year to me but now her second year is wild and the exact care-free experience she had hoped for.
I am undecided as to whether that just isn’t for me anymore or whether my experience just wasn’t meant to be like that, cause if it were, attributes like my relationship, for example, would never have worked out.
Don’t ever worry if things aren’t happening as you planned or as you imagined because I bet you’ll end up somewhere better. If something is going in a different direction for you, trust it; you never know where you could end up.